


Won't you come closer now

by beebuzz



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Canon Compliant, Confessions, First Kiss, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-04-01
Packaged: 2019-12-30 07:11:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18310712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/beebuzz/pseuds/beebuzz
Summary: Sneeze to his left, cough to his right, constant and jostling rumble under his feet, the crowded commute after school was unquestionably the bane of Akaashi’s existence.That and the painfully tempting lack of space between his face and Bokuto’s neck.But these two things were horrible in their own, completely separate, wholly unrelated ways.





	Won't you come closer now

Sneeze to his left, cough to his right, constant and jostling rumble under his feet, the crowded commute after school was unquestionably the bane of Akaashi’s existence.

That and the painfully tempting lack of space between his face and Bokuto’s neck.

But these two things were horrible in their own, completely separate, wholly unrelated ways.

To a stranger, anyone that knew them solely from their team, Bokuto was his captain, the leader, the ace.

To a classmate, anyone that saw them off the court, Bokuto was his friend, most likely his best friend.

But to Akaashi, Bokuto was unfortunately and indescribably so much more than that.

That fact alone was frustrating, terrifying, and laughable all rolled into one knot in his throat and one pound of his heart every time round eyes and a wide smile were directed straight at him.

Which, regrettably, happened far too often.

So Akaashi was, as they say, rather _fucked_.

He’d dealt with these rude little feelings for almost two years and for the most part, they had been manageable. He could brush them away and pretend like it wasn’t gnawing at his sanity with each high five and hug and enthusiastic shout of his name.

Yet, things recently had been anything but simple between them. Call it end of the year desperation, but maybe Akaashi had become a little panicked that he was running out of time to spend with Bokuto. He’d be graduating in just a few months, and while he hadn’t decided just what he was doing after, Akaashi certainly wasn’t going to try and make him hang around if he didn’t want to. Akaashi knew how many scouts had been coming to watch him, knew how many people adored him even if he hadn’t graduated yet, knew how much he would want to keep playing as long as he could no matter what it took.

So if that meant he had to leave the prefecture, or even the region altogether, Akaashi wasn’t going to be the one to stop him.

These silly feelings had no rightful place in that decision process.

And he tried his damn near hardest to keep them all inside. If he had it his way, they wouldn’t have been there in the first place.

It would have been so much easier if Bokuto didn’t like him so much and didn’t look at him like he hung the moon every time he sent a ball across the court. It would be fine if he didn’t get a firm pat on the back that lingered too long after every good set, or a head on his shoulder after long days when Bokuto was apparently too tired to stand properly.

If only Akaashi could just function like a normal person around him. That would have been so much better.

Instead, he was left confused and frustrated most of the time.

Frustration was definitely the strongest emotion he was feeling that day. Especially as he was squished into a tiny train car and caught between not wanting to fall on the woman behind him and not wanting to be so close to Bokuto that he combusted on the spot.

It was bad on these afternoons when everyone in the whole city decided to go home at once. All packed in, unable to move, unable to breathe, they existed like that for excruciating minutes.

Akaashi normally took to holding a pole, but today there wasn’t one in sight that didn’t have hands already covering every grimy inch. The handles above their heads were also currently all occupied. One specifically was the one just to his left that Bokuto was currently hanging onto and subsequently invading way too much of Akaashi’s bubble.

Even over the general smell of strangers surrounding him, he could also pick out the vague scent of fresh, minty cologne Bokuto always put on after his post-practice shower. It was a lovely hint that laced every breath where he tried to forget being surrounded by so many people with their constant noises and chatter.

He closed his eyes after a few minutes of nauseating rocking with the constant press of an elbow into his ribs. Only once there was a tap to his wrist did he open them, tip his head back, and try not to jump back from how close he was to Bokuto’s face.

Bokuto had his brows drawn up and in mouth curved a little before he asked just loud enough to be heard, “You okay?”

Did he not look okay?

Did he look as nauseous as he felt?

For so many reasons he could feel bile in his throat, but he swallowed nonetheless and nodded. “Just tired.”

“Practice was brutal.” Bokuto agreed after a nod, but it was all a lie. He didn’t believe those words at all. He knew Akaashi better than that and made it clear enough as he gave another rub to his wrist. “We’re almost there.”

Akaashi didn’t say anything in return- both because there wasn’t much else to discuss and because the majority of his thoughts were currently trying not to focus on the constant graze of two fingers against the inside of his wrist.

This kind of physical touch wasn’t anything new between them, but it never quite went this long or happened when there were so many people around.

When he didn’t pull away, those fingers slid down to rub at his palm in some odd form of comfort. Even that didn’t seem to be enough for either of them. With another rough jostle and a lurch forward, the only stability he found was lifting his arm up and planting a hand against Bokuto’s shoulder. At the same time, the soft touch on his palm turned into rough skin sliding against his hand and fingers slipping between his own.

Akaashi pulled his hand back from Bokuto’s shoulder as soon as he found his footing, but the grip on his other hand stayed just as present.

He didn’t dare look down and break whatever odd spell had surrounded them. Instead, he kept his eyes locked on the sharp edges of Bokuto’s blazer.

But Bokuto being Bokuto, he couldn’t leave it at that. He couldn’t hold onto Akaashi’s hand and not mutter a quick, “Is this okay?” down to him.

And Akaashi being Akaashi, he couldn’t reply with what he was feeling. That yes, this was so beyond okay, that this was what he’d wanted for as long as he could remember, that he could hardly even hear the question because of how loud his heart was in his ears.

He could only give the slightest squeeze of his hand in return and give a subtle nod that was probably lost to the bounce of the car on the track.

They stayed, holding hands like the blushing teenagers they most certainly were not, until a sharp curve of the track sent his unstable balance swaying straight into the waiting chest in front of him. Hand squeezing his, Bokuto even let go of his handle long enough to keep Akaashi from making them all topple over. Once the car evened out again, his hand left the place it had been burning a hole into the small of Akaashi’s back to once again hold on above.

But even then as Akaashi went to step back, there was a small tug to his hand that kept him there. While he wasn’t invading the space of whoever had been behind him anymore, he was certainly taking up too much of the air between the two of them.

He looked up, fully prepared to say something passive, but all the words died before they ever even formed in his head.

Bokuto was close, too close, stiflingly close. But he was looking down like this was exactly where he wanted to be. He gripped Akaashi’s hand tight, kept it from going anywhere. Maybe it was supposed to comfort him. Maybe it was supposed to warn him.

Because then he was coming closer, hunching slowly and eating away at the space between them. For those brief moments where all Akaashi could see was bright, determined gold inching towards him, maybe time really did begin to slow down.

_Ah, I’m going to be kissed_ was his first thought, surprisingly calm, followed only by a snide quip back of _How cliché_.

Bokuto couldn’t have been more than a few inches away, fully stooped down now; and if it hadn’t been for the woman who coughed into her elbow next to them, or the sudden rumble of the train over a bump in the track, or the faint wail of a baby that started up- maybe Akaashi would have let Bokuto come all the way.

If it hadn’t been for the full realization that yes, they were still on a crowded train car and no, they were in fact not surrounded by the overwhelming and alarming comfort he only seemed to find when it was just the two of them- maybe Akaashi would have let Bokuto kiss him.

But they weren’t alone, and he was far from comfortable, so before he even gave himself another option, Akaashi was turning his head down just slightly and letting out a hushed, doleful, “ _Bo._ ”

He was staring into the shoulder of the man next to him, but out of the corner of his eye, he could see Bokuto freeze, his gaze flick wider in some sort of realization. Like he himself hadn’t recognized what he was doing. Like he just suddenly remembered where they were and what they were- or possibly even what they _weren’t_.

And then he was standing up straight, putting the same distance between them as before but somehow it felt like an entire cavern separated them. Akaashi looked back up to him, caught sight of everything he didn’t want to. Neck stretching and cracking, right shoulder rolling, nostrils flaring, jaw clenching- it was every little tic that emerged when Bokuto was trying to hold in annoyance or embarrassment.

Worst of all, he wasn’t looking down. No, his gaze was locked on something over Akaashi’s head. Perhaps it wasn’t focusing on anything at all, but it was purposefully not meeting the questioning blue that he so often complimented or the apologetic curve of his lips that he always complained looked far too sad for someone so kind.

_Kind_.

He wasn’t so kind now. Making someone so happy look like that. Tight lipped, brows twitching while he tried to keep himself from showing how much he was probably berating himself.

Akaashi knew him too well- knew just what was happening behind that thickskulled, obstinate, headstrong resolve. He was convincing himself he’d done the wrong thing, that everything about the situation was entirely wrong and he was to blame, that he’d just ruined everything.

It was all so ridiculous. And if there weren’t a dozen strangers within ear shot, Akaashi would be telling him just that. Tell him just how right he was and how the only thing wrong about the situation was that they weren’t alone and that he wasn’t strong enough to deal with the fact that at any other place and time, he wouldn’t have been able to stop himself from letting Bokuto follow through with everything he had been about to.

So that’s how they spent the rest of the ride. Akaashi switching between staring holes into his shoulder and glancing up to his face while Bokuto did nothing more than stare over the top of his head.

Even after reaching their stop, filing out with Akaashi only half a step behind him, they said nothing.

Even walking down the street, twenty minutes in and only a few yards from Akaashi’s front door, they said nothing.

He wasn’t used to this. The quiet. The only other times it’d happen were on the court when there were things to distract him. When Bokuto was just sulking about missing a few hits, Akaashi could focus on the rest of the team for once. Then, it was just about figuring out how to pull him out of it. One good set and they’d be back on track.

But this- the silence between an overly passionate people-pleaser and an emotionally constipated, impassive idiot was anything but familiar. His own lack of talking was normal, but the gaps in between were so often filled with excitable rambling and enthusiastic shouting, he’d almost forgotten how little he put into most of their conversations.

Now, he had no idea how to fix it. And while someone else might have felt guilty here, if anything he only felt annoyed. At himself. At them both. At the whole entire situation.

Stopping in front of the gate to his home, it appeared Bokuto was prepared to leave him all the same. In complete silence. With nothing more than a simple nod farewell.

Hands gripping the strap of his bag tightly, Akaashi looked up and steeled himself. “Bokuto-san-”

But that was as far as he got because Bokuto was sucking in a loud breath and fisting his hands at his sides before anything else could come out. “Akaashi, I would like to apologize for my behavior this afternoon. I was out of line and I don’t want what happened to jeopardize our friendship. I never should have tried to k-” And he crumbled right there, eyes squeezing shut and head shaking. “I never should have tried to do what I almost did and I hope you don’t think any differently of me now.”

Akaashi wasn’t expecting many words out of him, and the ones he did think to hear were nothing close to any of those. And the way in which he said them was-

_Humorous._

He couldn’t laugh- he _shouldn’t_ laugh- and yet there he was, finding his shoulders jumping, his chest bouncing, an abnormal little putter of a chuckle leaking from between pinched lips.

At the first sound, Bokuto was gaping at him. “Why are you laughing?”

Akaashi had lifted the back of his hand to his mouth but brought it down once his laughter died with a deep breath. “Since when do you speak so formally?”

“Ah,” Bokuto was hunching over then, rubbing at the back of his head with this horrible scrunched up expression which was so familiar and somehow comforting. “I was just trying to be polite and- well, respectful. I’ve been thinking and decided I should probably apologize.”

“It took you the whole way here to decide that one thing?”

“There was a lot more!” His shout ended with a sigh and his hand going into his pockets. “Just more that I figured you wouldn’t want to hear, considering.”

“Considering?” Akaashi trailed off, leaning in a bit more and watching Bokuto straighten up at the movement.

“Considering you-” He moved his jaw, rolled a few words around in his mouth before shrugging and looking off to the side with a quiet, “Rejected me.”

“I didn’t-” Akaashi frowned and shifted from one foot to the other. “Well, no, I supposed I did, but-”

“But what?”

“It was simply-” His next sigh was more annoyed than worried. “I would rather my first kiss not to be on a crowded train with some stranger coughing on me and jabbing their elbow into my back.”

“Your-” Bokuto came in close, eyes wide and voice jumping loud. “You’ve never been kissed before?”

Akaashi gave him the best look of amusement he could at the moment. “Is that really what you want to discuss right now?”

“A little bit.” Akaashi’s eyes narrowed and Bokuto knew better than to continue with that. He was waving his hand around in a matter of seconds. “Okay, okay, you’re right. Back to the more important thing- you supposedly not rejecting me even though you totally did.”

“You tried to kiss me on a disgusting train.”

“You just looked really pretty.” Those words definitely left without consent because then his entire expression went panicked. “I mean- Ah, geez.” He slouched, worry and uncertainty taking over. “Is that okay to say? I feel like it is, but I also have no idea how you feel at the same time. Just, look ‘kaashi. This is gonna sound weird, but not like it’s gonna be much of a surprise anymore.”

Bokuto sucked in a deep breath, held it in his cheeks like a child before blowing it out and beginning to speak all at once. “I like you- _have_ liked you. For a while I think. And I wouldn’t have even pulled that shit if I didn’t think maybe you did too- but if you don’t, don’t think you can’t tell me. I’m not tryin’ to pressure you or anything.” He tried at a smile but it fell short compared to his normal sunshine grin. “I just think you’re really great and that you deserve to know how much I care about you.”

And while that was every word he had ever hoped to hear in his life, Akaashi almost couldn’t believe it. That disbelief was written on his face, his posture, even leaking into his tone.

“Bokuto-san, I-”

“It’s really fine if you don’t feel that way. You’re still my best friend and the best setter around. It’s not like I don’t want to still be your partner- oh but- not like that kind of partner. Wait- no, I _do-_ but only if you do too, so I-”

A simple hand on Bokuto’s chest was enough to stop his tumbling altogether. It was a normal gesture, one that anyone could do without the bat of an eye, but here, now, Bokuto was staring down at his hand like it was searing his skin through his shirt.

“Please, let me finish.” Akaashi started calmly before, admittedly with reluctance, he pulled his hand away and curled it around the strap of his bag again. “I didn’t reject you because I disliked the intent. The situation just wasn’t all that ideal.”

A few breaths of silence came and went before Bokuto let out a soft _ah_. “So no kissing you on trains?”

He nodded, the slight tinge of an unpleasant warmth coming to his face. “I would appreciate that.”

“Tell me then, if you don’t mind,” Bokuto’s head was down a bit, eyes watching as his foot scuffed the sidewalk. “If I had tried that somewhere else, would it have been different?”

“I suppose it depends on the specific location.”

“What about, I dunno,” He cleared his throat, heel of his shoe tapping the pavement a few times. “Right outside your house? Would that have been better?”

_Oh._

_Of course._

He’d really set himself up for that one.

Bokuto was suddenly staring at him with such intent that he should be used to by now. It shouldn’t still make him feel small and unsure. Still, he curled in on himself a little after feeling the weight of that gaze and the question settling on his shoulders.

“That would have been acceptable.”

It was a surprise those words came out so steady. But not quite as much of a surprise as the air hitting his face once Bokuto stepped closer. Hands out of his pockets, he still didn’t put them anywhere to close to Akaashi as he bent down and moved in for a quick peck of a kiss.

It lasted maybe a handful of seconds before Bokuto was gone and Akaashi was left staring into the slight remnants of stubble on his chin.

“Just acceptable?” Bokuto muttered, not stepping away entirely but also giving more than just a little room between them.

“That was,” He squinted a little at the rumple of Bokuto’s shirt. “Surprisingly uneventful.”

“’kaashi!” The lamenting whine was immediate and loud. Posture sagging, Bokuto dropped his head with a groan. “That’s so mean!”

“I’m sorry, but I just figured-” Akaashi huffed, feeling overwhelmingly the same and rather confused about it. “The way people talk- Ah, I feel a little stupid for assuming-”

But then the entirety of his personal space was ripped away from him. There was a solid weight pushing into him from hips to chest, hands grabbing hold his cheeks and pulling his face up to meet another press of their mouths. This time it was firm, almost desperate in a way that made his breathing stall. The clammy palms on his face, the heavy breathing through a nose puffing onto his own, the tight brows and pinched eyes almost blurry from how close they were- this time he understood.

Bokuto left him for a mere second, just long enough to tilt his head and come right back for another kiss. With the soft, wet sliding and the subtle pull at his bottom lip, yes- now he understood. He felt it in the slight give to his knees and the tingly warmth filling him up head to toe.

He hardly realized his eyes had closed until he was opening them to find Bokuto’s intense stare peeling away every layer of protection he had.

“You never said it back.” Bokuto’s voice was so quiet and composed, so much different than his eyes or the usual shout he seemed to think was an inside voice.

“I’m sorry?” Akaashi found himself replying dumbly.

“I told you I like you, Akaashi.”

“Oh.” Thumbs brushed under his eyes and he had to force his lashes not to flutter shut again. “Yes. You did.”

A grin split across Bokuto’s face as his hands squeezed a tiny bit tighter onto his face. “Well?”

Akaashi took a brief moment to study the sheer joy across this man’s face- this man he’d come to count on, and rely on, and to seek out in a crowd- and suddenly anything but the truth felt horribly, inexcusably wrong.

“I like you too, Bokuto-san.”

With a hearty laugh, Bokuto released his face and shot his fists into the air. “Alright!” All in the same breath, he settled down and leaned in close again. “In that case, would you mind dropping the _san_?”

“It may take some practice. It’s quite a habit now, but- I don’t see why not.” Akaashi was recovering quickly, finding the strength in his legs returning rapidly. He blinked a few times, collecting his thoughts and organizing them back into neat little piles. Maybe he still felt a little warm though. Maybe his blood was still pooling in his cheeks and his head was still a little swimmy. Maybe he couldn’t help himself from letting his tone drop into a teasing lilt- something he’d wanted to use for so long but that had felt out of place and inappropriate before now. “What would you prefer to be called? _Captain_?”

There was a visible hunch to his shoulders and a clack of his jaw snapping shut that would definitely need to be explored later. “No, no.” His head was shaking, one hand brought up to shield his eyes while the other waved about. “Nothing like that. My name is fine. Just without the whole-” A vague gesture followed as he tried to find his point again.

“Unfamiliarity of an honorific?”

“Yeah.” He sounded relieved that the answer was found for him. But then he was rubbing at his neck and looking around again. “You know, calling me Bo wasn’t all that bad either.”

“Have I never before?”

“Not that I remember.”

Odd.

He could have sworn.

“Oh, it must have just been in my head then.”

Bokuto lit back up at that. He grinned, hand curled under his chin as he laughed. “You think about me?”

“I-” The look Akaashi gave him had to have been nothing short of exasperated. “That’s a rather stupid question, isn’t it?”

The pace at which Bokuto could work himself and so easily deflate back down had to be exhausting. But there he was, whining again and sagging in place. “Always so mean. Just say yes next time.”

“I think about you all the time.” Bokuto’s head peeked back up, brows high and ears practically twitching to hear more. With a sigh Akaashi managed to stifle the roll of his eyes as he continued. “Because you’re just so amazing, how could I not? Who wouldn’t dedicate their every thought to your mere existence?”

Lips pursed, gaze critical, Bokuto leaned in. “I’m getting that feeling I usually have when you’re mocking me.” He tipped his head to the side and stepped closer. “Are you mocking me?”

Akaashi tilted his chin up with a shrug. “I would never.”

“You are. I know you are.” Then with an arm around his neck, Bokuto pulled him into his chest. “You better cut it out or I’ll take back everything I said about liking you.”

There was a muffle Akaashi tried to get across, but it was all absorbed by Bokuto’s shirt until he loosened his arm and leaned back.

“What was that?”

“How long have you-” Akaashi stepped back fully and motioned between them.

“You know, for someone so painfully blunt, you’re pretty awful at expressing your own feelings.” Bokuto laughed in spite of Akaashi’s frown and sent a fist into his shoulder. “Here I was thinking you just tolerated me this whole time.”

Huffing and straightening out his shirt, he hiked his bag up on his shoulder. “And now you know that isn’t the case.”

“I think I’ve liked you from the moment I met you. That’s just how amazing you are to me.” He said it so matter of fact, bright smile and all. Entirely Bokuto.

“Bokuto-sa-” He caught himself at the last moment and shook his head. “Bokuto, thank you. I can’t say I’m not, happy. To hear that, but you-” He glanced to the road, tugged on his bag a little. “You’re leaving soon, probably, so I don’t think that-”

Wet lips met his cheek, started with a kiss and ended with a bubble of air being blown against his face. Akaashi batted at the offender before wiping his cheek with a grimace. When he looked to Bokuto, the fool was beaming like a madman.

“I’ve waited a really long time to do this. And I’m not going to waste any more worrying about things that aren’t happening now and may or may not happen for a while. Do you think you can get on board with that?”

“With blowing spit onto my face? No. I cannot.”

In a flash, Bokuto was on him again and wrapping his arms around Akaashi’s shoulders. This time it was more of a hug that spread warmth even where his arms weren’t touching. “How about with me coming inside and sweet talking your mom into making us some stir fry?”

Akaashi instantly thought about leaning away from the hug, trying to wiggle out of Bokuto’s hold like he always did, but he realized quickly that he didn’t have to hold back anymore. For once, he didn’t have to pull away and pretend like he wasn’t flustered. He didn’t need to worry about his face flushing or his heart racing. All he had to do was lean into him and take a deep breath of minty comfort for it all to feel okay.

“That,” It was with a hidden smile that he let his head fall forward to Bokuto’s shoulder and his hands rest on the warm fabric stretched across his chest. “That sounds wonderful, Bo.”

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written a hq fic in over a year- I don't know what happened but hopefully I'll write more soon!
> 
> Come find me on twitter [ @scuttlebuttles](https://twitter.com/scuttlebuttles?s=17)


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